butterfly3ffect

I just visited a psychiatrist. I was diagnosed with dysthymia, but she said that there’s a high possibility of having both dysthymia and major depression, although they’re both kind of similar. And they said they needed to run more tests. And she also said that I should’ve visited a long time ago, instead of waiting till now because she suspected that this stuff isn’t recent. Though I’m not going to be going back to get any more testing because my parents say that depression isn’t real, and all of this was silly.

But I guess that it was a good-to-know fact, I guess. In my AP Psych class, we always take surveys and quizzes that relate to what we’re reviewing in class. So about a month ago, we were taking a survey to check for depression, the higher the score, the higher the depression, and when the class began to share, someone said that she got a 45, and was complaining about something like how she felt “guilty” from a volleyball game or something like that, and then I said that my score was 75. And the whole class got really silent, and that girl with the 45 just had her mouth kinda hanging open. And my teacher looked super worried and said “A 75? You got a 75…Out of 80..” Though I had no idea that it was that bad or anything. Because I assumed that the normal scores were around that range. But apparently 20-30 was the normal range. So my teacher was worried, and kept asking if I was okay, but I thought that it was normal, and the extra attention was making me uncomfortable. Though she tried to reassure me that maybe it was just the test, but she told me that I ought to see a psychiatrist and she recommended one to me.

• wake up
• a lot of coffee
• classes
• tennis
• homework
• sleep when I’m finally so exhausted that my little asian eyes are barely even slits
• repeat